Parenting Styles: Are You Parenting Right?
Parenting Styles: Are You Parenting Right?
By: Kylie Johnson
When it comes to parenting there is always one commonly asked question, “Am I parenting right?” Parenting does not come with a manual. Sure, there are books on how to parent but those are based on other parent’s parenting styles and their experiences with their children. There is no such thing as perfect parenting, every child is different, and every parent will parent their child as they see the best fit. Despite this, the worry from many parents still is if they are parenting right. What we do know is that the way you parent directly plays part in shaping your child. According to Brain (2019), in the 1960s, Baumrind noticed that preschoolers exhibited distinctly different types of behavior. Each type of behavior was highly correlated to a specific kind of parenting. Baumrind’s theory is that there is a close relationship between parenting styles and children’s behavior, which lead to different outcomes in the children’s lives. These parenting styles can be broken down into four parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful.
The first parenting style is the authoritative style. The authoritative style is correlated with high demandingness from the parent and high responsiveness towards the child (Brain, 2019). High demandingness means that the parent has a high demand for what to expect from their child, and the parent has high responsiveness to the child’s emotional needs. The authoritative parenting style includes being warm and responsive, having clear rules, high expectations, being supportive, and value independence (Brain, 2019). The associated outcome from the authoritative parenting style that will be seen in a child includes having higher academic performance, more self-esteem, better social skills, less mental illness – less depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, delinquency, and alcohol and drug use (Brain, 2019).
The second parenting style is the authoritarian style. The authoritarian style is correlated with high demandingness from the parent and low responsiveness toward the child (Brain, 2019). High demandingness means that the parent has a high demand for what to expect from their child, and the parent has low responsiveness to the child ‘s thoguhts and emotions regardless of if they life up to those expectations. The authoritarian parenting style from parents includes being unresponsive, having strict rules, high expectations, and expecting blind obedience (Brain, 2019). The associated outcome from the authoritarian parenting style that will be seen in a child includes lower academic performance, having less self-esteem, poorer social skills, being more prone to mental illnesses, drug/alcohol abuse, and delinquency (Brain, 2019).
The third parenting style is the permissive style. The permissive style is correlated with low demandingness from the parent and high responsiveness toward the child (Brain, 2019). Low demandingness means that the parent has a low demand for what to expect from their child, and the child receives high responsiveness from the parent. The permissive parenting style includes being warm and responsive, having little or no rules, being indulgent, and lenient (Brain, 2019). The associated outcome from the permissive parenting style that will be seen in a child includes impulsive behavior, being egocentric, having poorer social skills, and problematic relationships (Brain, 2019).
The fourth and final parenting style is the neglectful style. The neglectful style is correlated with low demandingness from the parent and low responsiveness towards the child (Brain, 2019). Low demandingness means that the parent has a low demand for what to expect from their child, and they also have low responsiveness to the child’s needs. The neglectful parenting style from parents includes being cold and unresponsive, having no rules, being uninvolved, and indifferent (Brain, 2019). The associated outcome from the neglectful parenting style that will be seen in a child includes impulsive behavior, delinquency, drug or alcohol abuse, and suicide (Brain, 2019).
Overall, there is no such thing as perfect parenting. What we do know is certain parenting styles work better than others (Rosenthal, 2009). Studies showed that how you parent does show as early as preschool and are evident all the way through adolescence (Rosenthal, 2009). As you can infer both the third and fourth parenting styles, permissive and neglectful are most likely not the best parenting styles. Permissiveness is not adequate parenting; it is simply giving the child whatever they want. A neglectful parent is not involved with their child and has the greatest amount of negative child behavior outcomes. What parents who are wanting the best outcome for their child/children should focus on is the first and second parenting styles, authoritative and authoritarian. The authoritative and authoritarian styles are the best parenting styles with the best child behavior outcomes. A healthy, balanced parenting style is more long-term and effective than buying multiple books of controversial parenting claims, or by searching online from the “perfect mommy blogs” with a false ideal parenting lifestyle.
References
Brain, P. F. (2019, September 21). 4 Parenting Styles – Characteristics And Effects [Infographic]. Retrieved from https://www.parentingforbrain.com/4–baumrind–parenting–styles/.
Rosenthal, M. (2009, August 4). The 4 Parenting Styles: What Works And What Doesn’t. Retrieved from http://theattachedfamily.com/membersonly/?p=2151.